Welcome to The-EN Community!
Please welcome our newest member: drago123
Discuss & Discover more.

    Ever Wondered How You Got Home?

    Share
    avatar
    Meesh
    EN Mod
    EN Mod

    EN AwardTop Moderator

    EN Award 2Technology Enthusiast

    PSN ID PSN ID : YowsahsItsMeesh

    Gender : Female
    Join date : 2010-06-23
    Posts : 1304
    Cash : 16270
    Location : The Left Coast, CA
    Philippines

    Ever Wondered How You Got Home?

    Post by Meesh on Wed Oct 27, 2010 1:36 pm

    LOL I received this in an e-mail earlier today... so now we know...

    How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard night boozing and thought "How the hell did I get home?" As hard as you try, you cannot piece together your return journey from the bar to your house. The answer to this puzzle is that you used a Beer Scooter.

    The Beer Scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased to the drunk by Bacchus the Roman god of wine.

    Bacchus has acquired a large batch of these magical devices. The Beer Scooter works in the following fashion: The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and the "slurring gland" begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many sub-contractors detects this pheromone and sends down a winged Beer Scooter. The scooter scoops up the passenger and deposits them in their bedroom via a Trans-Dimensional Portal. This is not cheap to run, so a large portion of the passenger's in-pocket cash is taken as payment. This answers the second question after a night out "How did I spend so much money?"

    Unfortunately, Beer Scooters have a poor safety record and are thought to be responsible for over 90% of all UDI(Unidentified Drinking Injuries). An undocumented feature of the beer scooter is the destruction of time segments during the trip. The nature of Trans-Dimensional Portals dictates that time will be lost, seemingly unaccounted for. This answers a third question after a night out "What the hell happened?" With good intentions, Bacchus opted for the REMIT (Removal of Embarrassing Moments In Time) add on, that automatically removes, in descending order, those parts in time regretted most.

    Unfortunately one person's REMIT is not necessarily the REMIT of another and quite often lost time is regained in discussions over a period of time.

    Independent studies have also shown that Beer Goggles often cause the scooter's navigation system to malfunction thus sending the passenger to the wrong bedroom, often with horrific consequences. With recent models including a GPS, Bacchus made an investment in a scooter drive-thru chain specializing in half eaten kebabs and pizza crusts. Another question answered!!

    For the family man, Beer Scooters come equipped with flowers picked from other people's garden and Thump-A-Lot boots (Patent Pending). These boots are designed in such a way that no matter how quietly you tip-toe up the stairs, you are sure to wake up your other half. Special anti-gravity springs ensure that you bump into every wall in the house and the CTSGS (Coffee Table Seeking Guidance System) explains the bruised shins.

    The final add-on Bacchus saw fit to invest in for some scooters is the TAS (Tobacco Absorption System). This explains how one person can apparently get through 260 Marlboro's in a single night.

    PS: Don't forget the on-board heater, which allows you to comfortably get home from the bar in sub-zero temperatures, wearing just a T-shirt.

    avatar
    rhondatommy
    EN Transformer
    EN Transformer

    EN AwardListed Top Poster

    PSN ID PSN ID : rhondatommy. Na, rhonda247. Jp,rgsinthehouse. Eu

    Gender : Female
    Join date : 2011-02-16
    Posts : 1125
    Cash : 13570
    Location : granitefalls north carolina
    United States of America

    Re: Ever Wondered How You Got Home?

    Post by rhondatommy on Wed Mar 02, 2011 2:54 pm

    omg so funny hahahahahahahaha
    avatar
    Meesh
    EN Mod
    EN Mod

    EN AwardTop Moderator

    EN Award 2Technology Enthusiast

    PSN ID PSN ID : YowsahsItsMeesh

    Gender : Female
    Join date : 2010-06-23
    Posts : 1304
    Cash : 16270
    Location : The Left Coast, CA
    Philippines

    Re: Ever Wondered How You Got Home?

    Post by Meesh on Wed Mar 02, 2011 3:21 pm

    You know it's true! We develop super powers- the ability to turn ugly into beautiful, lung power to handle the tobacky, and the famous 'beer scooter' that always gets us where we need to be even though we don't know where the hell we're going LOL. Amazing isn't it?

    avatar
    rhondatommy
    EN Transformer
    EN Transformer

    EN AwardListed Top Poster

    PSN ID PSN ID : rhondatommy. Na, rhonda247. Jp,rgsinthehouse. Eu

    Gender : Female
    Join date : 2011-02-16
    Posts : 1125
    Cash : 13570
    Location : granitefalls north carolina
    United States of America

    Re: Ever Wondered How You Got Home?

    Post by rhondatommy on Wed Mar 02, 2011 4:28 pm

    ya it is amazing stuff we think of tehe

    Sponsored content

    Re: Ever Wondered How You Got Home?

    Post by Sponsored content


      Current date/time is Tue Nov 21, 2017 7:21 pm